Band ,baaja,bride

I accidentally while gliding through TV channels ,ended up on a certain one. The program being telecasted was about marriage.Anybody who wants to get married looking like the heroine of a Bollywood flick can write to these people and they make it come true. I wonder how do they even select the brides.
Who doesn't want to get dressed up by celebrity makeup artists?,wear designer clothes,get their tooth filed by a famous dentist,get botox to make your lips look fuller by a cosmetic surgeon , have a dedicated  programme telecast about the marriage on national television andddd all of this free of cost(I guess).
A girl writes to this production crew.she gets selected and that in itself is a great accomplishment. The anchors visit the bride ,ask her who/what she wants to look like on the very important day of her life . What are black spots of her looks, that she is worried about and wants to get fixed. Then comes the celebrity designer,who is the Man of the show. He toils day and night to please the bride , designs intricate lehengas or sarees with embellishments,trinkets, to make it look 100% bollywoodish.
Oh have we forgotten about  the keratin on head. A celebrity hair stylist scratches the brides head lol and reveals the problems about the biochemistry ,peptide bonds of the keratin that are missing or whatever.Science doesn't make sense here . Then comes the dye,various conccotions,increasing the temperature of the hair (thermodynamics comes to aid),making the peptide bonds straight.Mind you ,the girl is not allowed to look at herself unless all the experiments are done with.

Eeeeee, the lower left most canine looks like a canine. Oh gawd!! Cannot  look at myself in the mirror!!!! ... I have been mocked at ,since childhood,due to this nasty canine(that looks like a canine ) help  me please please.....
As the dentist sculpts the canine in to a molar with the victims oops bride's  mouth wide  open, the extra calcium acquired by using Colgate just goes waste. OMG I look so beautiful... mirror cracks. thank you hammer err.. doctor.

Now shame on you!!! How can Skin, the largest organ be sidelined? The cosmetologist is an old, made young through technology ,weird looking female.Touches the skin ,feels it,"hmmmm I know how to vandalise your face". The lips are considered perfect when the upper one is 40% of the lower in size....(I have literally heard a doctor saying this)
I will inject something and you will look perfect ,like someone has just punched you really hard on the lips .Tadahhhh...fuller lips and laser burnt skin. Scintillating smell.

Makeup or making up
All sorts of hues ,shades are painted on to the face as if its a canvas ,even the eyelashes/lids are not spared. The devil/diva is ready for the horror show. Looks at herself, watery eyes
dammit mascara ,nerolac paint .How can I cry???
She is then presented with a surprise rado watch and lead in to the marriage hall. The groom is in absolute horror,but is being filmed, cannot express his true feelings,cofused tries to look happy.
should I say,they lived happily ever after!!!!!!

I wouldn't want any of this .But then, I don't the represent the whole Female community.
By the way, nice title to the programme :) .